Vroom Vroom Vroom

The Bikers of Bengaluru

Miners

A set of bikers keen to protect themselves from the policeman by wearing the miner or construction “helmets” .They even leave the straps open. It sure saves them from the cops and in any case the helmet doesn’t need to protect a nonexistent brain.

Minors 

They have typically grown with vehicles all around them. Most of them work/worked as minors at a mechanic shop. They surely understand instructions like "Re, woh 13 number leke aa re jaldi " …

 These fellas can hardly put their feet on the ground most times, but zoom past you crisscrossing the city like their ancestors owned the roads.

Protectors 

These bikers wear their helmet on their knees or their elbows or on an arm. They seem to be protecting the part of their body where they think their brains are. Some even try by wearing them inclined protecting just their forehead.These are normally the folks with a non-miner helmet. 

The show-offs 

These bikers have big expensive bikes and make them roar on the streets. They all make a lot of noise, but move as much as the other bikes .. Don’t get me wrong, there is so much traffic at most times. There is subset of these fellas that buy not just the bike, but all the paraphernalia like matching jackets, sunglasses, etc. They mostly drive the bikes for a short distance, adjust their hairstyles by looking into that mirror at every signal, and reach the closest darshini to have by-two kaapi or chai while people-watching for a while and catching up with fellow bikers (maybe of the other kinds of bikers too). They then act busy, start the bike and move to the next Darshini.

The triplets 

 The Three Idiots movie had a valid case for triple-riding?. Two people were needed to protect the almost dead person in an emergency. These fellows always seem to be in a hurry, but God knows for what. They are all speaking on their phones including the driver. Such productive people. Maybe they are closing a million dollar deal on the go or maybe they are speaking to each other to discuss where they go for chai. They probably can't hear each other directly with the surrounding noise.Some of them even try to run the bikes on a single wheel..

Superbikers 

If the Harley Davidson company has to show gratitude to one place in India, it has to be Leh. It all starts with the "Chalo Leh chalte hain bike trip pe" during a drunk evening. Till that time a lot of them have witnessed these superbikes in Hollywood movies

Some of them bought bikes mostly to go on solo rides.Quite a few of these bikes seem to be made for solo riders or at best to put their partners on a high pedestal, while their partners are fighting gravity. They have all the gear that suits the bike and some of them want to look macho by tattooing and wearing sleeveless shirts. Some indeed do make it to Leh. The rest are seen on the highways on the weekends as part of riding clubs heading to a nearby hill station or probably a famous eatery. The city has a lot of these biker clubs. A few of them turn into Instagrammers posting pictures of paddy fields, villages, and the food that they captured on the trip. My guess is they do this to avoid dusting the house and enjoy a Sunday beer on the way back home with their pals. Some “experts” buy bikes, that are imported and/or have alien sounding names that are unheard of by a commoner. Yaavd guru bike?  Hayabusa .. you are not sure if he telling you the name or cursing you in an unknown language for not knowing even this. 

When a fancy bike is seen, the first question passersby ask "Yestu mileage koDathe Saar" * and followed by the cost of course.

Ille Bande bikers 

These folks go out for a quick spin to get forgotten groceries, drop kids to a school near home, Or go to just grab a vaDe dippu at a favorite Darshini and don't want to tell the household. Most times they are not wearing helmets and the excuses are that they not going far anyway. They even tell the cops the same thing. Saar ille mane, my house is just around the corner.  

The new-age bikers 

These set of cyclists call it a bike. They wear loads of gear and do a LOT of “cycling” around the city + are seen as armies on the highways. The cycles now come with a fancy price tag, depending on the brand, the usage possibilities, the number of gears + a whole lot of "features". Gone are the days of the milkman Raleigh cycle or the BSA Slr of Kapil dev fame. I had a hand-me-down BSA SLR from my uncle that I used during school and college and survived, but that's a story for another day.   

The 100cc fellas 

The old timers are still stuck with the bikes that they bought several years ago, some of them even during their college years. A few of them are mileage gurus too, you can tell from the bike they own. If it’s a well-maintained bike the miners or the triplets are sure to ask if it’s for sale. Some of them are still doing well and are seen on the roads.

  The connected bikers

These fellas are swiping left, right and centre on the phones, some looking for addresses, some others looking for which message to address first.They are very skilled and can adjust their helmets just a bit on the move to shove the phone inside and make that all important phone call without stopping and wasting time.

To see a section of India's doing their bit for efficiency and productivity you should be on her roads.

People just don’t waste time wearing helmets , they are on call with someone while driving always . They drive on wrong sides of the road if need be to save time and resources(petrol) .You can sometimes see 4-5 folks on a two wheeler to maximise utilisation.

And lastly, the people who wear religious costumes and corresponding headgear without helmets, what can I say?

Devare Kaapadbeku. God save them.

Amen

PS: I am that 100cc non-mileage fella , what about you ?

• Kitna deti hain, How much mileage does it give